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11:30am 16/07/2007 |
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The Dear Abby definition of maturity:
Maturity is the ability to control our impulses, to think beyond the moment, and consider how our words and our actions will affect ourselves and others before we act.
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| I feel really bad now. |
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08:38am 02/07/2007 |
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I managed to miss an email and a phone call so I fail to show up for 7th Sea. I'm not saying that the first weekend at William's new apartment wouldn't have taken precedence anyway, but at least there would have been a phone call to that effect sometime before I was two hours late. I think I mostly feel bad because I don't think I've ever managed to forget to make sure I spent time with Debbie. And since, lately at least, roleplaying has been that designated time, I feel like I've screwed up royally. mood:  guilty |
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| I'm not that good a person. |
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09:35am 19/06/2007 |
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Or maybe I am. I did something completely out of the ordinary for me; I wrote to Dear Abby. I figure that if someone who has some problems with depression thinks that all depression is the same and someone acting differently than she is just putting on a show, others may as well. Dear Abby has enough of a reader base that she might be able to get through to a few people. And there's the possiblility that I get the last word and with more people. mood:  accomplished |
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| (no subject) |
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09:01am 18/06/2007 |
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This morning, I am calm. Of course, it could be shock. The toilet is having issues, and we only have one, so now seems like a good time to go over and pack up some more stuff. And call the landlord about toilet back up. mood: calm |
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| I'm not good with people |
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11:55pm 17/06/2007 |
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See, today my sister and I got into an argument. Feeling a breakdown coming on, I went around to the other side of the car to get through it. She followed, though courtesy would dictate that I be given privacy. When I apologised and explained that most of what brought on my near suicidal breakdown was other stresses, she accused me of "theatrics." I explained that it wasn't exactly a choice and calling depression theatrics was belittling the illness and the efforts I've gone through to control it. I din't request an apology, I asked only that she never call it such again. She began her next statement "I'm a rational person, and you were acting like a three year old - " I did not listen to the rest. We were in a car stopped at a stoplight. I got out, indulged in the fit of temper of throwing my soda can as far as I could and started walking in the opposite direction. I had no words to express my extreme outrage at the idea that people had depressive episodes for the entertainment of others and that rational persons rightly viewed them at attention seeking children. I could no longer be in the same space as a person so minded. I really have no place for such in my life. It was my thought to send an apology to my sister's friend for not managing to hold our argument for a time she was not there; however, my sister then left my mother a voicemail claiming that she and her friend had discussed it and decided that exiting a moving vehicle was not the action of a rational person. Fine, I'll let her have the last word. God and I both know what happened and if she has a problem she is perfectly free to take it up with him. Though, I hear the complaints department is hell. mood:  infuriated |
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| William took it. |
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10:19pm 16/06/2007 |
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Your Score: ZachYou scored 37 Idealism, 62 Nonconformity, 62 Nerdiness
You gotta embrace your inner freak. 'Cause the only thing you'll regret is denying who you really are.Congratulations, you're Zach! You're nerdy, strange, slightly snarky, and proud of it! You're also a nice guy and really trustworthy friend. Any cheerleader (or, well, anyone) should consider his or herself extremely fortunate to be friends with a person like you. Your best quality: You're an all-around great friend Your worst quality: You don't get along well with annoying little brothers |
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| My husband is totally hot. |
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04:48pm 14/06/2007 |
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Your Score: Mohinder SureshYou scored 45 Idealism, 54 Nonconformity, 58 Nerdiness
My father spent his life chasing after this insanity. Now I'm wasting mine trying to prove he was sane.Congratulations, you're Mohinder Suresh! You're a curious, passionate, and intelligent person. You're prone to changing your mind about the important things in life, though. You're interested in doing what you can to help people who are gifted with special abilities. Your best quality: You're a maverick intellectual Your worst quality: Your opinions can change rather quickly and suddenly mood:  ecstatic |
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| These things just don't like me |
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03:28pm 14/06/2007 |
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I came, I saw, I broke. Your Score: Isaac Mendez You scored 33 Idealism, 50 Nonconformity, 66 Nerdiness
I need painting supplies. Congratulations, you're Isaac Mendez! You're a talented, creative, artistic soul with a few demons you've been working to overcome. You are really passionate person and you are not afraid to express yourself or your emotions. Your best quality: Creativity and artistic talent. Your worst quality: A possibly addictive or indulgent personality Julie, shouldn't you have gotten the artist? I mean, it might be nice to score Isaac, but I don't think that's what it means . . . mood:  confused |
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| A quote I just had to share |
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12:08pm 13/06/2007 |
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"Let me repeat that... it is STATE LAW that you must be a RELIGIOUS minister in a Conspiracy RECOGNIZED religion, to be able to sign the STATE'S paperwork legalizing a government contract. See a problem here? You are in fact a religious leader working for the State. Stick that in your separation of Church and State pipe and smoke it."
Dad, comments?
quote from www.subgenius.com
(disclaimer: The views expressed on linked sites sure as hell aren't mine.) mood: amused |
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| Children |
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09:38am 11/06/2007 |
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I remember my children behaving well. I remember going to someone else's house and having a good time because my children were only having small problems. Accidents, an occasional while because they didn't get a treat, but nothing major. They don't behave anymore. I could find several reasons for this, but, ultimately, it is my fault because I kept them in the environment that spawned the problems. And all the blame assigned elsewhere will not make it anyone else's job to fix it. They lost their consistency of behavior and example and now I have to be absolutely iron-fisted about enforcing proper behavior until it becomes habit. It takes a month to create a new habit. For a month I'm going to have to be downright mean, and still have misbehaving kids. This is not going to be a good month. mood:  melancholy |
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| Mystery solved! |
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02:19pm 11/05/2007 |
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So, now I know what the problem is! Yay!
I am a spiteful bitch. Says so right here on the package.
Why is Daniel putting holes in the walls? Because I'm a spiteful bitch.
Why is Daniel get so drunk he passes out? Because I'm a spiteful bitch.
Why did Daniel, in that same drunken fit go into my bedroom while I was gone and kick a hole in the door? Also because I'm a spiteful bitch.
I've had a busy week. It's really taken its toll on me. I'm so stressed out that for the first time in three years my period is off by five days. No, I don't think I'm pregnant. I took a test and it came up negative.
I'm so angry right now my hands are shaking. mood: angry |
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| (no subject) |
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09:51am 05/05/2007 |
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I hate bing ignored. I hate the way it makes me feel like I've ceased to exist. I hate asking if I can help, getting ignored then asking if I need to leave and still getting ignored. In that case I don't know what to do. Especially when its my best friend doing the ignoring. I feel like I'm being pulled under someone else's despair and they won't let me help and they won't let go. All the while making me feel like I'm putting a burden on them. For asking not to drown. For asking to let me help. For existing. |
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| Joe's clone |
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10:22am 10/04/2007 |
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Joe is my dad. I am Joe's clone. Not really, but that's how the joke goes. I look as much like my dad as could be expected, I have many of the same mannerisms, and even when we disagree, we argue with the same logic. I seem to have aquired something else I had thought to avoid.
I occationally feel the need to wax eloquent (or at least wordy) on abstract subjects. And write about it just in case anyone's reading. I have a couple brewing even now. I'll probably end up posting it. Hope you have fun.
Oh, yeah, and I'm still sick. mood:  sick |
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| It sucks to be sick . . . |
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06:54pm 07/04/2007 |
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Really, the title says it all. It shortens my temper. It makes children harder to deal with, and, since I'm responsible for as many as five on any given weekday, this is a major problem. It makes it hard to get things done. I makes me lethargic. Has anyone ever found any illness that gave you more energy?
I think I've found the trigger to my illnesses, though. All I have to do is resolve that I'm going to try to improve in some manner. As surely as I do this I find myself unable to maintain even the level I just found unacceptable. Seriously, working harder makes me sick. For the past several days talking has been causing me pain. I go into coughing fits under the slightest provocation. It takes me all day to get the energy for a shower. My body temperature is two and a half degrees higher than it should be. I think in simple sentences. Bleh.
The worst part is that I have all this inspiration to go do, but I have no energy with which to pursue it.
Here's to hoping I feel better by Monday. mood: sick |
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| Restart |
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12:11pm 05/04/2007 |
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Wow, I haven't touched this thing in a while . . . and the situation has only changed slightly. Now, I'm staying home with the boys by day and watching the girls at their house in the evenings. Still lots of fun. Maybe I'll keep up with the journal now. Maybe not.
Cheers! mood: amused |
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| Quiet time |
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08:06pm 30/08/2005 |
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"Quiet time" is that mythical time after lunch where the kids rest for at least an hour. The ones that sleep usually pull off at least two. Most days, one or two kids asleep is the best I can get.
Today, all four children were asleep from 2:30 to 3:45. It was totally awesome.
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sparkydragon's journal
awake
hopeful